Living in a land of chicken fuckers by Normal Wisdom

Thanks to phone hacking we lived in enlightened times. We knew which celebrity was doing what, and to whom. And we were better for it. Without that we now have to look at ourselves for what we really are.

“The size of the lie is a definite factor in causing it to be believed, for the vast masses of a nation are in the depths of their hearts more easily deceived than they are consciously and intentionally bad. The primitive simplicity of their minds renders them a more easy prey to a big lie than a small one, for they themselves often tell little lies, but would be ashamed to tell big lies.”

Hitler said that. I think he was implying that most people in any given country are a good, trusting, gullible sort that have missed out on evolution, which somehow makes them stupid and ripe for power crazed maniacs like himself to takeover and exploit, but that was a long time ago and times have moved on.

Hitler, who had evolved so much that he only needed one testicle, also said:

“In relation to the political decontamination of our public life, the government will embark upon a systematic campaign to restore the nation’s moral and material health. The whole educational system, theatre, film, literature, the press and broadcasting – all these will be used as a means to this end.”

I have heard similar recently. Well, not exactly like that, but there have been promises. One was to make the nation happy, to make things orderly and proper, and a review of how education and the arts and media is run. Well, fuck that. I was doing fine till you started making me question whether I was actually happy or not. I’m not sure your kind of spiritual, uptight karmic help is needed, at least not today.

Mastering the art of decontaminating your public life has proved tricky of late. There are many contaminated elements from the fallout of this deplorable episode that makes a mockery of British democracy. Those who have not already made for the exits are desperately hoping they will not be shoved forward and have to don the lead gloves to clean the mess up. Or maybe they won’t need shoving?

Maybe they will have the metaphorical balls to step up and be a hero for democracy and integrity, but they’ll need to remember to put the gloves on first, as this mess will do worse than stain. Avoid getting any traces of it on your person. You won’t notice at first, but soon, maybe in days, or months, your hair will fall out, your gums will turn purple and your teeth will drop from your mouth in groups, and you will spew up acidic vomit that will eventually rot your throat and the lower half of your face away.

What we face now in the UK is a question of integrity and credibility. Sure, this kind of subterfuge has always been going on in political life, only these guys have been caught in the open with their pants down. I once worked in a chicken factory and one of the employees was found by his colleagues fucking a dead chicken, the prepared kind you buy in shops. He couldn’t deny it, and it may even have been his first attempt at such a practice, but from then on he was always referred to as the chicken fucker.