The Bible 2: Part seven: God admits everything is random

God amused himself with thoughts of how He could ground the angels and clip their wing, especially the upstart the Angel Harathesis. This was, he thought, the right thing to do.

God was drunk, of course, but not out of control, at least not yet – that would come later.

Vic wrestled the bottle of Chivas Regal out of God’s hands. “Give that bottle ta me, ya bum. Where’s ya manners?”

Vic let whiskey flow down his throat, smacked his lips in a totally over the top fashion and spoke some more. “Where are the chickadees? We need babes. You and I goddamned need babes, Gandalf, if we are ever to help you sort out your problems. We need female company. I demand it.”

Vic continued talking about the babes, the chicks and so on, but God wasn’t listening, His mind was elsewhere. And so it was, everything on Earth was random. This was another of God’s follies.

When He originally started out His wondrous piece of art, His creation, He relented control in favour of sitting back to watch the chaos unfold. For a time it was beautiful, simply beautiful, but, as you know by now, things on Earth had changed.

“Everything is random” God mused to himself, but this was enough to stop Vic from babbling about beauties.

Vic, his eyes red and watering, the bottle of Chivas Regal lying empty on his lap, looked at God and said, “Gandalf, ya bumming me out. I’m gonna have to make like a gun and shoot. Find some action, ya know. Have you see Frankie?”

God replied, “Mr Sinartra opted to have his soul recycled. He was reincarnated, and is now a small girl living in Romania called Andreea.”

“Oh!” said Vic, shocked, but this gave way to lecherous curiosity, “and is he gonna grow up to be a babe? Wow! That’s so typical of Frankie. You think you have him worked out and he then goes and pulls a stunt like that. You’re right, Gandalf, everything is random. I’m going to make a move anyway, I want to find a few cats and chicks and start a party going.”

“Okay, bye,” said God, and He watched Vic walk away before thinking to Himself that no longer would things on Earth be random. Slowly and subtly He would change the secret codes of life, tamper with their construction. Free will was one of the first things on His list to change; only He had to be clever, humanity must not suspect they’ve had their free will taken away, and He had to keep it secret from the Angel Harathesis.

The Bible 2: Part one: God checks his diary.

The Bible 2: Part two: God pays off a debt

The Bible 2: Part three: God’s folly

The Bible 2: Part four: Hotel Mishap

The Bible 2: Part five: The Hunter

The Bible 2: Part six: God gets called Gandalf

The Bible 2: Part seven: God admits everything is random


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