Dog dismisses Einstein’s theory of relativity

A lot of people say pets understand what their owners say. So yesterday I sat down with my dog and read it Relativity: The Special and General Theory by Albert Einstein and Nigel Calder (Penguin Classics edition).

If pets do understand what you say to them, then Einstein’s book seemingly made little impression on the over-pampered, over-fed ball of fluff that I read it to. I don’t think it gave two-hoots.

Today I’m going to read it Martha Stewart’s Homekeeping Handbook: The Essential Guide to Caring for Everything in Your Home (Hardcover), before telling it that if it doesn’t start doing what the book suggests and pulling its weight I will begin withholding food. I’m no longer satisfied with this dog ‘playing dead’, walking on its back legs and doing the accounts. I want to see it grapple with the Dyson and duster.


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